Journal

Confessions of a Serial Human Being

Before I became a filmmaker I was a writer, and writing is really what inspired me to go into the world of film and translate the stories in my head into tangible pieces of art.  While I originally intended for this blog to be solely about my life as a filmmaker, I cannot ignore that my life as a writer heavily intertwines, especially since I would love to write my own scripts in the future.

It is November, which means it is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  I have been participating in this month’s writer-ly festivities since the age of 13 and I am in no way going to stop now, despite the fact that I am now in college and running on about -24% brainpower most of the time.

But instead of writing a novel this year, my goal is to go on a different kind of journey.  I hope to produce a series of works including poems, essays, scripts, and short stories, dealing with a number of themes: anxiety, depression, failure, and relationships.  This collection of works I have decided to call Confessions of a Serial Human Being.  Call me a weird-ass writer if you want for that title, but I aspire that it will make sense at the end of this month.

Throughout the course of November I will be sharing pieces of my writing on this blog.  Below is an introduction to this journey.

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Finding a Place

I’m 18 years old, and I’ve found exactly where I’m supposed to be.  Now I realize that sounds a little preposterous, but bear with me.  Hear me out.

Growing up there were a lot of different things that I wanted to be.  I often refer to my life in stages of my dream careers.  There was the ninja/tennis player/horseback rider stage.  There was the marine biologist stage.  There was the forensic pathologist stage.  There was the FBI special agent stage.

Then, there is the filmmaker stage. I say “is” because not only am I currently in said stage, but because I also never plan on leaving it.  Film is for me.  It is me.

To be honest, I don’t even remember how the notion that I might want to make films even popped into my head.  I think there was just one lonely night, where I was sitting in my bed watching one of my favorite TV shows and thinking, “wow.  I love this.  This is so important to me.”  It just kind of dawned on me out of nowhere.

And the more and more I pondered, the more and more sense it made.  I thought about how all my favorite TV shows, movies, even plays, changed and developed me as a person.  They brought me through some of the toughest times in my life, and acted as an amplifier for some of the best.  I can’t imagine what I would do without them.

My goal in life is to share the power of film with others.  I’ve always wanted to do something important – be a hero, be relevant to the world even if in some small way.  And I know now that if I can impact even one person’s world, and not the entire world, with my work like others have impacted me, then I’ll become the happiest person on earth.

Because I’m a filmmaker, and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.