Journal

Confessions of a Serial Human Being

Before I became a filmmaker I was a writer, and writing is really what inspired me to go into the world of film and translate the stories in my head into tangible pieces of art.  While I originally intended for this blog to be solely about my life as a filmmaker, I cannot ignore that my life as a writer heavily intertwines, especially since I would love to write my own scripts in the future.

It is November, which means it is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  I have been participating in this month’s writer-ly festivities since the age of 13 and I am in no way going to stop now, despite the fact that I am now in college and running on about -24% brainpower most of the time.

But instead of writing a novel this year, my goal is to go on a different kind of journey.  I hope to produce a series of works including poems, essays, scripts, and short stories, dealing with a number of themes: anxiety, depression, failure, and relationships.  This collection of works I have decided to call Confessions of a Serial Human Being.  Call me a weird-ass writer if you want for that title, but I aspire that it will make sense at the end of this month.

Throughout the course of November I will be sharing pieces of my writing on this blog.  Below is an introduction to this journey.

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Stop Minimizing My Work

This post is going to be in stark contrast to my previous one.  Warning, for ahead lies the written word of an angry film student running on too much caffeine and not enough sleep.

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Finding a Place

I’m 18 years old, and I’ve found exactly where I’m supposed to be.  Now I realize that sounds a little preposterous, but bear with me.  Hear me out.

Growing up there were a lot of different things that I wanted to be.  I often refer to my life in stages of my dream careers.  There was the ninja/tennis player/horseback rider stage.  There was the marine biologist stage.  There was the forensic pathologist stage.  There was the FBI special agent stage.

Then, there is the filmmaker stage. I say “is” because not only am I currently in said stage, but because I also never plan on leaving it.  Film is for me.  It is me.

To be honest, I don’t even remember how the notion that I might want to make films even popped into my head.  I think there was just one lonely night, where I was sitting in my bed watching one of my favorite TV shows and thinking, “wow.  I love this.  This is so important to me.”  It just kind of dawned on me out of nowhere.

And the more and more I pondered, the more and more sense it made.  I thought about how all my favorite TV shows, movies, even plays, changed and developed me as a person.  They brought me through some of the toughest times in my life, and acted as an amplifier for some of the best.  I can’t imagine what I would do without them.

My goal in life is to share the power of film with others.  I’ve always wanted to do something important – be a hero, be relevant to the world even if in some small way.  And I know now that if I can impact even one person’s world, and not the entire world, with my work like others have impacted me, then I’ll become the happiest person on earth.

Because I’m a filmmaker, and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.